Attention - Bridge Under Construction!

As the cherry on top, I saved the most important element in building healthy humane relationships for the end of this monthly cycle.

💁You might say - “What do you mean the end, Ivana? Wasn’t communication the most important thing?”

And yes, in previous editions, I talked about communication being the backbone of healthy relationships—whether romantic, friendly, or professional.

I explained how the main causes of miscommunication come from different models of the world, which lead us all to have varying definitions, rules, and meanings for the same concept or word. And how clarity, curiosity, and active listening—with focused attention and deep care—are the tools that help bridge those differences.

But here’s the bitter truth:

💥Communication is worthless without trust.

• You can explain yourself clearly and logically a hundred times over.

• You can share your intentions, plans, and strategies using visuals, maps, and charts.

• You can cry, scream, or fall into despair—showing every raw emotion.

👉But if the other person doesn’t trust you—all of that bounces right off the armor of doubt and self-protection.

And that’s how relationships fall apart. Not because we didn’t talk enough, but because we didn’t believe what was said. Broken trust is the fastest way to destroy any relationship—romantic, business partnership, client relationship, or friendship. And it’s also the hardest thing to rebuild.

We all want trust, and yet we’re often the ones to compromise it. Maybe you forgot a promise, bent the truth here and there, shared confidential information, or simply didn’t show up—and just like that, the trust is gone.

So what’s next❓

🌀 We sit around and hope that time and luck will heal the relationship…

❗️Honestly, I’m not a fan of waiting. I’m a fan of action 😊.

Here’s a model I use with clients that’s proven effective in rebuilding and maintaining trust—in both personal and professional relationships.

You might ask: Is this some kind of magic? Or maybe a strategy?

The 5 Phases of Rebuilding Trust

If you messed up, but want to preserve the relationship, the following phases can help you not only rebuild trust, but even elevate the relationship to a higher level—depending, of course, on your dedication and consistency.

PHASE 1 – BE COMMITTED AND DECISIVE

In this initial phase of rebuilding trust, it’s crucial to clearly and loudly express full commitment. Your actions must align with the needs and feelings of the other person.

The principle of trust is simple: We trust people who show genuine care for us. Trust is born in the hardest, most stressful moments. That’s when you need to set aside your ego and selflessly listen and understand the other person.

That’s when real commitment becomes most visible. Remember: There’s no “trying”—you either do it or you don’t. Simple as that.

PHASE 2 – SHOW GENUINE VULNERABILITY

Intellectually demonstrating commitment is not enough. You need real, emotional authenticity.

This phase requires you to look inward and share your vulnerability honestly. The reasons behind the hurt often lie in fear, unhealed wounds, suppressed frustrations, or unresolved resentment.

When you admit and express your human side, you stop being offensive or defensive. You settle into a calm, authentic space—and that’s the perfect setup for Phase 3.

PHASE 3 – SHARE, LISTEN, LEARN

This is when you tell your side of the story—without blame. Share your emotions and the reasons behind the situation openly and honestly. More importantly—listen to the other side with openness and respect. Don’t rush into solutions. This is a time for understanding, not “fixing.”

If you’ve completed the first two phases well, the other person will feel safe enough to share their genuine reactions—doubts, frustrations, disappointments. These are not signs of failure. They’re golden opportunities to demonstrate your maturity and commitment.

PHASE 4 – ALIGN THE VISION

Now the focus shifts to the future.

It’s time to talk openly, collaboratively, and without assumptions about your shared vision. No power struggles, no control—just honest dialogue about a mutual direction.

Creating a positive, realistic, and motivating vision doesn’t just inspire—it restores hope. When both sides can see themselves in the same future, a new energy emerges to move forward.

PHASE 5 – ACT WITH LOVE AND RESPECT

The purpose of the previous phases is to create a space where communication ends in understanding, closeness, and mutual respect. The conversation should culminate in a trustworthy, loving and respectful connection—depending on the type of relationship.

But if that isn’t achieved immediately, that doesn’t mean the process is over. It means going through the phases again—each time with even more honesty, directness, and vulnerability. When actions come from a place of love and respect, very few people remain indifferent.

...

These five phases can be applied in both personal and professional relationships. The difference is in tone and perspective—the core remains the same: Trust is built through commitment, honesty, and shared vision.

For support, here’s a helpful table for both aspects:

	Phase	Professional	Personal
1.	Commit and Declare	“Here’s how I’ll show up differently.”	“You come first now.”
2.	Create Heartfelt Emotion	Act from care, not control.	Act from love, not fear.
3.	Share, Listen, Learn	Feedback without defense.	Open communication.
4.	Align vision	Let’s co-create a shared roadmap.	What future do we want together?
5.	Act with love/respect	Daily reinforcement builds reliability.	Daily actions, not big words.

📌IN CONCLUSION

🪄As we near the end of this week’s story, we’re left with the opening question: Is building trust a strategy or magic?

🍒I’d say it’s both.

Strategy builds the bridge of trust. But magic lies in courage. The courage to take the first step on that bridge. Then the second. And to meet the other person halfway. Day after day, again and again.

Even when you’re unsure.

Even when you’re afraid the bridge might collapse.

📝SHORT EXERCISE FOR THE WEEK

Pick a situation where trust between you and someone important in your life was shaken because of your actions.

Reflect and answer honestly:

👉What did I do or fail to do that brought us here?

👉Which needs of the other person did I neglect or dismiss?

👉How would I have acted differently?

Now, write down one small way in which you will show up differently each day of this week to show your commitment and intent for repairing the relationship.

💡And if you are currently facing a big challenge in improving an important relationship and restoring trust, I have prepared a strategy with detailed instructions, specific phrases and questions, and even guidance on what tone to use in your speech for each phase of building trust—let’s say, a kind of handbook for building trust through the five phases.