Ice Cream Diet

After the long winter-spring season, slowly, with many stops and rainy pauses, summer is finally arriving. And with it, summer vacations, the pressure for a “summer body” and Nick Slaughter shirts 🌞.

That gave me the idea to write a bit more about habits as behavior patterns, but I didn’t quite know where to start. As always when I feel stuck, I started cleaning up around the house, especially the folder of documents in the closet—warranties, paid bills, manuals, and all sorts of things. You know, tossing what’s no longer useful.

Suddenly, I grab a paper that says:“Hello Melly, lose the belly!” 🤣The text continues… for breakfast, one rusk and a boiled egg, maybe a cup of tea or coffee, NO sugar, but Natren (artificial sweetener) is allowed…

That made me laugh and rather sentimental. You see, it was one of my grandma Ana’s diets (I already introduced her in the article “Not who’s fair, but who is always there”). Poor thing, she was always on some kind of regimen, and yet I always remember her as pleasantly plump and a true foodie.

I remember her telling me about one summer vacation with the whole family, when she decided to try a special diet—just ice cream. Yes, you read that right. Breakfast, lunch, dinner—all ice cream🍨, as many scoops as your heart desires. And since grandma Ana adored ice cream, her heart easily accepted this “diet” as “the one that will definitely work.”

So, what happened? She was constantly hungry, and came back from vacation five kilos heavier. 🤦‍♀️

From this story, things started to click, and I found the focus for this week’s edition—Why is it so easy to get hooked, and so hard to quit comfort food?

But let’s take it step by step…

What are habits and how are they formed?

🗣️ By definition, a habit is a mental pattern formed in the brain through repetition (the more it’s repeated, the more automatic the behavior becomes).Put differently, habits are the tools and vehicles we use to meet each of our needs (certainty, variety, significance, love/connection, growth, and contribution).

🌀 How is a habit created? Habits are built through a psychological loop that includes three core elements:

🟡 Trigger (external or internal—a signal or event that starts the behavior). After a long, exhausting day, you collapse on the couch. You did a lot, but somehow feel like you didn’t achieve anything meaningful. Your body is tired, but emotional tension lingers.

🔵 Routine (the actual physical, mental, or emotional action in response to the trigger). You open the snack cupboard (let’s not kid ourselves—we all have one). You grab chips, cheese puffs, honey cookies, “healthy chocolate bars with 70% cocoa.” You eat straight from the bag while mindlessly scrolling on your phone or watching a random series.

🟢 Reward (the relief or satisfaction you feel afterward). The sugar hits your brain like a shot of dopamine. (Yes, even chips contain sugar. Don’t take my word for it—check the label.) You relax, feel some comfort and a bit of a battery charge, and your brain concludes: “This helped me calm down.”

The habit strengthens—because it works... at least in the moment.

🧠 With enough repetition, the brain begins to automate the habit, making it stronger and harder to change.

🕒 Different studies suggest different timelines for habit automation—21 days, 66 days, 254 days... But honestly, I think it depends on the complexity of the behavior and the individual. Either way, consistency is key.

But as humans, we’re much more likely to stay consistent with something that gives us comfort and certainty than with something that pulls us out of our comfort zone and requires action and change—physically and mentally.

🍩 Comfort food = the easiest habit

Every action or behavior we develop exists to fulfill a need. Let’s remind ourselves: If a behavior satisfies three or more of our needs, it risks becoming a habit—or, depending on intensity, an addiction.

Let's test comfort food:

✅ Offers instant relief

✅ Brings a sense of safety

✅ Provides control—at least short-term

✅ Feels like a reward after a hard day (you deserve it!)

That means it satisfies at least three of the six core human needs:

• Certainty (“I know this works—why try something new? This will calm me down immediately.”)

• Variety (quick and easy access to different flavors, textures, spices)

• Significance/Control (“I get to choose what I do now/I worked hard, I deserve this treat”)

• Love and connection (when done with others—watching a show and snacking together feels like bonding time)

⚠️And here’s the trap: A habit that efficiently satisfies our inner needs is extremely hard to change.

🔁 Don’t deny it, substitute it!

As a bit of a foodie—both in cooking and enjoying food—I can confidently say that enjoying good food is not the problem.

Speaking from personal experience, the problem began when I started exhausting myself with work and depriving myself of food throughout the day. By the time I got home, I would raid the fridge and shovel in whatever I could find.

The Germans have a great word for this: fressen—uncontrolled, instinctual animal-like eating. If there was no cooked meal waiting, my go-to became the “magic cupboard” or the “Corner Fast Food Joint”—my fressen sanctuary. I’d tell myself, “Just today,” but that would slowly become my every day.

The fix? Diets. But like grandma Ana, they didn’t work for me—at least not long term.Why? Because most diets are built on denying the habit.They expect you to give something up or restrict yourself.

“No sugar. No bread. No food after 6 p.m. Only green salad with steamed broccoli and three peas…” The brain hears this as “forget about pleasure—no more enjoyment,” and starts to resist even more, increasing the risk of self-sabotage.

That’s because our brain doesn’t function well with negation. The more you deny something, the more it will find a way back—tenfold.

Here’s what helped me instead:

1. Acceptance – Yes, I’m a foodie and I enjoy delicious food. I live passionately and enjoy smells, tastes, and colors. Food is an art form that excites all my senses.

2. Identifying the issue – When do I stop enjoying food and start shoveling it down unconsciously?

3. Finding a substitute – What do I actually need in the moment, and what activity or behavior could satisfy that need instead? In my case, it’s usually sleep 😴💤🛌.

4.   And finally, enjoy—but in moderation!

This reminds me of a post I saw on social media:A quite overweight lady complains, “I’ve tried everything and nothing works!”And the doctor replies, “Well, you don’t have to try everything.” 😅Brutal and funny—but true.I’d add: You can try everything, just not all at once. And not now. And not immediately.

🎯 To summarize:

1. Recognize the trigger – When and why do you reach for comfort food?

2. Identify the need – Do you need comfort, a break, energy, or connection?

3. Be honest – Are you truly hungry, or the emptiness is not in your belly?

4. Find a substitute or alternative – What else could fulfill that same need?

5. Add moderation, not prohibition! – A slice of cake with love ≠ A whole cake devoured in panic.

   
   

✍️ Exercise for this week (self-reflection)

🤔 Take ten minutes and answer honestly:

• When do I usually overeat❓

• How do I feel before and after❓

• What do I actually need in those moments❓

• What is something other than food that gives me a similar effect—comfort, safety, a break❓

• How can I bring in more moderation and less denial in my relationship with food❓