Not who is FAIR, but who is always THERE

My grandma Ana was a truly unique and modern character (those who knew her can confirm this). Despite being born in a rural environment and raised in a strictly patriarchal spirit, she had an impressively open mind and modern views about many things.

She always had a witty answer to my detailed, direct, and often politically incorrect childhood questions (those who have kids know exactly what I’m talking about).

She was a treasure trove of little cheeky sayings, which I now realize as an adult carried much more weight and broader application — of course, depending on the perspective.

For example, as a child, I often watched movies where the couples seemed very unrealistic. Usually, the woman looked like a fairytale princess, and the man (at least to my childish eyes) resembled an underground troll. Beauty and the Beast, 100%. And, I would ask grandma how this was possible, and she would simply reply: "My dear, it’s not about who’s fair, but who’s always there!" Of course, this would trigger an avalanche of follow-up questions from my side, but her answer remained the same: "You’ll understand when you grow up!"

Now, shut down that internal commentary like — "It’s not about who’s always there, but who has money!" or "Whoever is always there might catch a punch too!". Sure, these thoughts have some validity, but my interpretation went in a slightly different direction.

You can be the most beautiful, the most intelligent, the most talented, the wittiest, the most eloquent, the most interesting, even the kindest person — but if you’re not also the most persistent, it’s unlikely you’ll achieve your desired goal.

Which brings us to this week’s story — to succeed, you need to be persistent, and persistence is really another word for CONSISTENCY, or in grandma Ana’s vocabulary — ALWAYS BEING THERE.

Consistency sounds heroic by itself, but if it’s based on unsustainable efforts (overloading yourself with commitments, perfectionism, or ignoring your body's need for rest and breaks), it will collapse like a house of cards — leading straight to burnout.

I’m talking about a SUSTAINABLE consistency — meaning maintaining a rhythm and intensity you can realistically stick to long-term, even when life gets chaotic. In short, it’s not about doing it perfectly every day — it’s about doing it in a way that allows you to keep doing it tomorrow too.

My Personal Story

I have plenty of stories about my journey through (in)consistency toward sustainable persistence. But I chose to share my love story with yoga because it's tied not just to physical discipline but even more to mental balance and introspection.

When I first started yoga, I watched an experienced practitioner in front of me twist like a pretzel and thought, no way I will ever be able to do that. I had no stamina, no flexibility, and I was breathing all wrong—making the exercises even harder.

So, I set myself a simple goal -10 minutes a day. No pressure, no expectations. Just: "Today, only 10 minutes”. And that "only today" turned into tomorrow, and the next day, and without even noticing, I created a rhythm that eventually became a need. Over time, my body craved more, my mind became clearer, and the discipline I was quietly building carried me toward the next step. I went from 10 minutes to almost an hour and a half—not because I had to, but because I wanted to.

And honestly, even today I can't bend like a pretzel. But honestly, I realized—I don’t even want to. I am happy with what I had achieved.

Unfortunately, this beautiful rhythm was interrupted by a health crisis that left me bedridden in hospitals for two months. And even after recovering physically, I didn’t immediately return to my practice. It took time, mental preparation, and, most importantly, forgiveness—toward myself—for breaking such a healthy and beautiful habit.

But now, it’s easier to come back. Because I have the formula. I know it works. And this time, I restarted a little stronger—with 30 minutes instead of 10. And I will keep on being there. Always.

I would suggest - When it comes to persistence and continuity, let’s all continue to be always there.

Exercise for This Week

If you were my client, this exercise would be personalized, tailored specifically to your needs, values, and possibilities. But for now, I’ll offer a few approaches that have proven very successful in general.

1. CHOOSE AN ACTIVITY

Pick one activity you love and have been wanting to incorporate into your life, but somehow it keeps slipping away. Or, maybe you start, overdo it, burn out, take a long break, then dabble again, and eventually abandon it under the excuse: "This isn’t working", "This isn't for me", "It didn’t meet my expectations."

Examples: adopting healthier eating habits, exercising, walking, reading, studying, etc. You can pick multiple activities, but trust me—that often turns them into burdens, and they quickly fall off your priority list. Pick ONE. The one closest to your heart—the one you truly want. Let’s start there.

2. CHOOSE A PERIOD OF THE DAY AND START

Pick a general time of day—morning, noon, afternoon, evening—when you’ll do your activity. But stay flexible. If you miss your preferred window, simply shift it to the next available moment on the same day.

Experience shows that picking an exact time (like 8:15 PM) often backfires. Miss the precise time, and your brain says: "Well, today’s a bust. Let’s try tomorrow." And so begins the endless cycle of procrastination.

Another downside of exact timing: when something else overlaps, you’ll have to make a decision – what is more important. And you will feel guilty no matter what you choose—leading to stress, signaling your brain that the activity equals "bad," and soon enough, goodbye new habit.

So: Pick a rough period. Stay flexible. And start – not tomorrow, not yesterday, but today.

3. WRITE A "WHAT IF NOT?" LIST

When humans choose between less pain and more pleasure, we almost always choose less pain (Yes, read that again.)

To motivate yourself, attach your activity to avoiding pain. Create a list—what I call the "What if I don't?" list. Write down all the negative consequences—physical or mental—you’ll face if you keep postponing this activity. And, look far ahead—what consequences will you face in 5 or 10 years?

4. MOVE STEP BY STEP

Almost all psychological strategies agree: Whether it's called "2% improvement daily," "1% better each day," "progress over perfection," or "slow is fast," the principle is the same:

Start small (by your own standards) and keep moving.

Every single day.

5. CREATE A SUPPORT SYSTEM

No matter how motivated you are, the need for comfort will eventually kick in (i.e., lounging around instead of exercising, a chocolate bar instead of an apple.). Your "What if not?" list will help change your perspective, but that takes time.

That’s why you need a support system. Depending on your preferred learning style (auditory, visual, kinesthetic, logical), your support system could be:

• A printed calendar on your fridge where you mark every completed day with your favorite color;

• An accountability buddy—your partner, trusted friend, colleague, or even a professional 😉;

• Carrying your "What if not?" list with you, and reading it when motivation dips, to refer yourself to facts.

There are many ways—you can even combine them.

One important tip: Inform your close circle—family, friends, colleagues—about your commitment. Share your "What if not?" list if necessary, to help them understand your seriousness. This helps avoid situations like:

• "Come on, skip it, it’s Friday night!"

• "No one ever got healthier from jogging!"

• "Don’t be a party pooper—have a drink!"

This isn’t about "character strength"—it’s about the basic human need for belonging and acceptance. Those who truly love you, will support you and accept you.

6. IDENTIFY YOUR CRITICAL DAY

In the beginning, adrenaline and excitement keep you going. But soon comes a critical day—the day when doubt, fear of failure, or simple laziness hit you. If you’ve ever tried a diet, you know exactly when temptation peaks. For me, it’s the fourth day.

Be ready for it. Tell your support system so they can help you.

On that day, you MUST do the activity.

Even if it’s sloppy, lazy, or half-hearted—just do it.

The next day will already feel easier.

7. RELAPSE IS NOT COLLAPSE

One day (besides the critical day), you might relapse. Skip a session. And that’s OK, expected even. Don’t beat yourself up. Maybe you actually needed the rest.

Relapse isn’t a collapse.

So, tomorrow you start again.

I wish you luck and can’t wait to hear how it goes.

And if you get stuck—well, you know you can always call a friend 😉.